74

life's ONE BIG MESS.

so many things to say. no idea how to say it.

a sumarry is: i got into council yesterday. was number 23 in votes. went home, mum forced me to quit by calling up huilin herself.

tears tears and more tears.

today in school was one of the worst days of my life.

but i think im still persuading my mum to let me stay on in council.

i want it. badly.

but to those who supported me, voted for me and all. THANK YOU. especially since i know that many ppl involved in aristal didnt have time to vote for me.... those strangers and aqquantiances who took the time to vote, i really appreciate.

to michelle shubha sum tse ruey celeste sui hang kelvin marcus kat zhang celine jafnie duying....... thanks for listening to me and making me feel better today.

but to you all i gotta say is:
i dont like hypocrites.
all that talk bout trust.
its all just crap aint it?
cos look who's breaking who's trust now?
practise what you preach MY FOOT.

i still cant believe i had to find out this way.

71

ARISTAL.

i love aristal.

cant believe its over but it is.

wow.

im proud to be a ARISTAList.

we rock=)

70

just had ARISTAL full dress rehersal till 11plus!!!! so tired and still have to do PI!!!

but you know what it was pretty fun =) all the MD girls ar....... hehehe tsk tsk.

cos i've learnt something NEW today:

MD GIRLS ARE VERY HORNY PEOPLE!!!

honestly, all the swooning giggling and being HIGH just cos of certain ______ ______!!!!

tsk tsk =P hahaha. it was real fun. not to forget our nice CHAT regarding the hotness level about each of our MD guys =P amazingly some ppl have funny tastes. LOLx =P

oh yes also not forgetting what we said when the MD guys brought us drinks.

" so sweeeet!! very gentlemen guys!!! good, u passed the first test! now the second! TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRTS!!!"

hahaha.

had fun playing murderer IN THE DARK toooooo! and the whole "story game" where each person says a line. and also the ghost story-telling part. GEE. cant believed we screamed TWICE cos we thought there was a spirit around.

it appears that MD girls are not only horny, they also have very wild imagination. AND they're easilllyyyyy spooked.

oh wells, we had fun =) I LUB MDS!!!!!!

wheeeee.

today's ARISTAL. can hardly wait =)

im a ARISTAList!!!!!

oh yes, that was a self-coined word. =)

muahahha. vote 78 darlings!!!! and i shall give u my BLESSINGS =)

69

troubled. yes.

but no way in hell am i gonna let it affect me.

tml's an important day.

call it detachment.

what wont break you will only make you stronger.

i dont like distorted tales.

and i dont like losing friendships because of it.

LIFE'S a B-E-A-C-H.


read it how ever you want it.

67

4hr mugging session= 4hr chit chat session.

just spent 4 hrs supposedly mugging but ended up talking with duying at macs.

talked about alot of stuff.

i dunno the long talk kinda cleared some doubts. but at the same time, im more confused too.

really confused.

its like my world is just spinning and spinning.

and i cant stop it.

i think i sound crazy.

i cant help it. life is pretty crazy at the moment.

bear with me people.

[3days] to speech day!
[5days] to ARISTAL!

[magic number 78. VOTE!]

66

whee. im through. to council elections. =)

stupid KELVIN called me at 1146pm to tell me the news. when EVERYONE else who got through got their calls this morning. THANKS A LOT ANGEL. way to make me feel stressed man!!!!!! especially since u kept asking me if i have gotten the CALL. EVIL!!!!!!

haha but luckily for me, michele told me the good news already. =) whee. hmmm now all i gotta do is campaign well? that is if im still planning on joining council. i dunno. its something ive really really really wanted for a loooong time. and its something i like ALOT. but seeing how busy i am this few weeks is really giving me second thoughts.

oh yes i cant believe it but i found the beginnings of a pimple on my nose!!! *shrieks* OH NOOOOO!!!!! MY LIFE IS OVER!!!! *wails* haha okayy that was a total bimbotic thing to do but u cant blame me!!!! the only time i get pimple is when im STRESSED. which means im super stressed now. the last times i got it was just before SYF, cheerleading finals, debate finals, dance and drama production, chinese oral and ballet exam!!!!!

so today is like THREE days away from my ballet exam. and 4 days away from campaign. and 12 days away from speech day. and 14 days away from ARISTAL!!!!

no wonder i see the beginnings of a pimple.

guess my ______ glands( im not a bio student!!!) are RIGHT on time. LOL.

65

council results will be out tml. or rather, those who got in will be informed.

uh oh. despite whatever i've heard so far im still PRETTY nervous. haha doubt i'll get much sleep tonite.

hmmm just found out today there's like a physics test next week. on kinematics and WEP. im so DEAD. i havent studied either and didnt go thru WEP E-lecture. and this entire week is dance so i cant study either. only time i can study is fri before dance camp and sun after dance prac at PA. and if i fail................ my mum will just MURDER me. guys, pls remember i want a hot pink coffin with shocking orange trimmings =)

speaking of dance camp. sorry guys i cant go for talenttime cos of dance!!! AHHHH!!!! but u know what i'll still support u in spirit ya? dont be mad!!! =) jia you!!!!! actually im quite looking forward to sleeping in school actually. never done it before. sounds fun=) but i dont own a sleeping bag or anything. wonder if i think sleepovers are fun after spending a night on the floor LOL.

oh yea PI is due on fri and i still know NUTS about what PW is all about. im so DEAD. plus i have dance tml so i cant do my PI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! uh oh...

but u know what im still a happy girl today despite all the stress =) today's reveal was totally diff from the prev one. the other time we knew we kinda sucked. but this time i think it was good. i could feel it. there was this whole life to the dance. whee=) im happy. i think we improved ALOT ALOT. way to go j1 dancers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)=)

ok gtg sleep soon. still gotta go sch at SEVEN tml for IFD meeting!!! AHHHH!!! keeping those fingers crossed for council results =) whee. pray guys pray =)

63

whee. im back to my happy self again.

yep life's looking good again. still as busy as ever though. still stressed out but heck that's LIFE aint it?

at least i know i have good friends by my side =)

thanks to all those who made my day and basically tried their best to cheer me up.

Sum- for listening to me whine throughout math lecture ytd. which resulted in us having BLANK math notes =P

Kelvin- for asking about how i was ytd online.

marcus- for the two letters u gave me today. it really helped =)

Shubha- for listening to me whine whenever i felt like it throughout the day =)

Tse ruey- for ATTEMPTING to crack a joke during math lecture. haha and playing sicssors paper stone with me on the railings while we waited for the seniors to end math lecture.

Duying- for listening to me whine too. and encouraging me =)

Thanks everyone! i love you guys. and to everyone who made me smile today, you ROCK! =)

oh yes not forgetting the OREO CRUSH with chocolate which all the J1 MD ppl tried together and the lame photos we took. CHOCOLATE plus PHOTOS. whee. a delightful combination to cheer grumpy ppl up =)

lalalalalala.

62

you could say i've finally mastered the art of detachment after trying for practically 16 years.

before i used to be so emotional. everything affected me so much. in fact surviving through a week without crying at all was quite a feat.

but today throughout my mum's entire ranting all i did was stare blankly back. not a tear dropped. despite her screaming, pinching and reading out from the stupid 18-points list of all the things i did wrong. oh yes and despite her saying "fucking" 6 times too.

guess she was quite shocked when i didnt cry. i must say i was too. i wonder what happened so suddenly that made me finally master the art of detachment. maybe its cos of my hectic life right now. if i care too much about too many things i'll simply explode.

im glad i've learnt to not be so affected by my mum.


if only i can bring that detachment to the other aspects of my life...
then maybe things wouldnt hurt so bad.

62

my grumpy mood's gone. whee.

its like what julie andrews said in the sound of music. when ure feeling down think of happy things. so here goes:


1. i like butter cookies. expecially those with nice sugar coating. yum. and i bought a box of it today. whee.


2. managed to complete some work at macs today. whee this is QUITE feat considering how slack ive been ALL week =P


3. no dance tml= i can go shopping for "STUFFS". wheeeeeee =)


4. had fun at dance today trying out the supposed handstands with steph. cos each time we did it, we kicked off too hard and ended up screaming and flipping over. HAHA.


5. had ice cream today =)=) ice cream ALWAYS makes me smile.



life's not just one big fairytale
and to think i thought i knew that a long time ago

apparently not.
i never learn do i?

issit me or does my entry make me sound like i have split personality??? muahahhaha. its the gemini effect. WHEE.

62

i feel like blogging. but soomehow i dunno what to blog about.

today was a tiring day. had dance photoshoot in the morning, ballet in the afternoon and tution in the evening. i miss times when i can just sit down and daydream. but it seems like i cant get that anymore. life's busy.

for some reason my mood's still pretty grumpy. dunno why maybe its cos im tired. but hopefully i think i did a good job acting like my usual happy self. i even played some april fools jokes( in which one FLOPPED cos SOMEONE left his phone at home!!!!) so it must have been quite alright.

though my grumpy self kinda emerged a bit at tution cos i kept either snapping or yawning. oh no. that was probably quite mean.

you know how they say the world's a stage? well whoever who said that is probably right.

i feel like im just playing a part.


ps. anyone wants the number for the STD hotline? WElcome to the STD hotline. for info on sexually transmitted diseases. press 1. you can use it for next year's april fools. =)